Gladiolus Amicitia (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
piercetheheart) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
rookshire2019-06-26 03:39 pm
piercetheheart) wrote in rookshire2019-06-26 03:39 pm
Take a look in the mirror
Who: Gladio & the people he needs to Talk to
What: The storm was rough but some conversations need to be had out of earshot of the others.
Where: Around the entrance areas
When: 5/21&22 directly after the storm.
Warnings: These are likely to be some pretty intense Talks but will warn in subject lines if anything gets into CW territory.
Immediately following the storm anyone that wants to talk to Gladio can find him in the locker room, the room he and the other chocobros share, fighting with thread made from unwound strips of muslin bandages and a suture needle from one of the first aid kits making another couple pairs of the same wrap shorts he'd been using for months on the islands. As little sewing as possible while still being light weight and effective. It's actually easier with the cut down sheets than it was with muslin, the tighter weave allowing him to sew closer to the edge than the loose muslin had.
What: The storm was rough but some conversations need to be had out of earshot of the others.
Where: Around the entrance areas
When: 5/21&22 directly after the storm.
Warnings: These are likely to be some pretty intense Talks but will warn in subject lines if anything gets into CW territory.
Immediately following the storm anyone that wants to talk to Gladio can find him in the locker room, the room he and the other chocobros share, fighting with thread made from unwound strips of muslin bandages and a suture needle from one of the first aid kits making another couple pairs of the same wrap shorts he'd been using for months on the islands. As little sewing as possible while still being light weight and effective. It's actually easier with the cut down sheets than it was with muslin, the tighter weave allowing him to sew closer to the edge than the loose muslin had.
no subject
"'s only fair." It is. Liam's both the one that ended up hurt and the one who'd sorta been ganged up on too. He hadn't meant for it to go that way but it had and it was at least partially his fault.
"I'm sorry she's gone, for what it's worth. She seemed like a good kid. Not cut out for this shit, but a good kid. And I'm not saying I'm right, we don't know. But that kind of shit? Moving walls and crap? that's a good way to get dead and getting killed..." He huffs a sigh and runs a hand over his hair as though there could be any flaw in the tight, neat braid Ignis had done for him that morning. At least he genuinely looks guilty.
"Places like this? Or like the Islands we were on, or like the shit hole tower Shion was in. Death stops meaning a whole helluva lot. It's never permanent. Same forces that be that dropped us in here aren't going to let us die but lemme tell you they can make sure it hurts like a bitch. But that's the thing. There's no noble sacrifices to make if everyone comes back so if she was just dead, got stuck out there and got fucked up. Then she'd be back by now.
What's worse is when you wake up one morning and someone you love's just... gone. No trace of 'em like they'd never been there. Room empty, shit vanished. Gotta just hope and pray that wherever they ended up they're gonna be okay. Maybe they got to go home, maybe they can fix things. Point is you'll never know and it's agony not knowing, trust me I know, and it's even worse when they come back cause half the time they don't remember and then everything's fucked up again cause you knew 'em, you made so many memories and now it's like they're a stranger.
The point is. The storm brought us here, the storm probably took her out other wise she'd be back. And as infuriating as it is, you suffering wasn't gonna do shit to change that. More to the point? That little girl in there? I don't care how brave she is saying she'd go with you, I'm pretty damned sure dying like that and coming back from it would break her. She's so sweet and young and she doesn't deserve that. I'm sorry shit got outta hand, I'm sorry Ardyn is a reactive asshole, and I'm sorry you got hurt."
And that's it. He slumps against the wall, all but deflates against it and looks at Liam, tired and weary.
"'m not sorry you're still alive though... jerk"
no subject
He tries to keep up his glare as he continues, knowing he shouldn't rush to forgive him when there was still more to discuss. But the mask has cracked, and the corners of Liam's mouth curl into a miserable frown as he folds his arms carefully. "I'm not like you all," Liam begins factually. "I didn't have the privilege of coming from a universe I'm not native to. I'm working from an incomplete picture, and I don't have the support the rest of you have. Not by half." Friendly as the rest of them had been to him, there was simply no making up for time. There were just some disadvantages that couldn't be addressed, and it wasn't equal, but it also wasn't unjust. It simply was.
"So when you stopped me from 'saving' someone I wanted as my friend- same as anyone here- what was I supposed to think? From my perspective, we were leaving that girl to her fate, and I had to take it or die." He sighs. He knows in his heart that he overreacted - that he played up his outrage to burn his bridges as fast as possible - but the rest of them had to learn that Liam Ferohn-Gau didn't bend to threats. "The universe would be a shittier place if we turned away from injustice to save our own skin. In that moment, helping someone was worth more than my life." Liam didn't know Ardyn - didn't believe in his virtue like he believed in Gladio's. What if Ardyn insisted on something even worse in the future? He had to know there was someone willing to keep him in check.
"I asked everyone to tell me if there was something I was missing. I trusted you! I thought you would have just told me, but instead, you..." Threatened him, let him get injured, left him suffering in the dark for three days while the resentment ate holes through his guts. The moment after Asch revealed their fight had been for nothing, Liam could have wept furious tears, had the others not been watching. Even now, they prick at his eyes.
Liam squares his shoulders and marches over to Gladio, tense as though he might get in his face - and then pushes him up from his slouch, shoving him firmly but affectionately. In spite of his hurt, there's some tenderness to his tone. "Idiot... You really let me down." That was Liam's breaking point. He was too damaged and miserable to handle another betrayal.
no subject
"'m sorry." The shift in his stance only lasts a fleeting moment before he's throwing his arms around Liam, regardless of the heat or how gross everyone is he hugs the other man to him for a long moment. It's strange how much Liam's disappointment hits home, like he was failing Cor or His Majesty somehow.
"You were already so worked up I didn't think you'd listen. All of that, explaining everything? That took more than a minute and you'd already made up your mind what you were going to do, the rest of us be damned. I thought... you'd at least see the reason in not adding to the body count. As soon as Ardyn got involved it was a whole different story." Okay so maybe outside in the sun it's a little too hot for this. He leans a little instead, one arm around Liam but not fully hugging him.
"I wouldn't have let him kill you but... trust me when I say stepping in to argue in your defense would've made him more likely to kill you out of spite. Though I have to admit if he'd been a second or two slower I'd have jumped between you. Make sure neither of you could kill each other. He uh... he had everything he knew turned on him for being that kind of idealistic and self sacrificing so it pisses him off when people think it'll change anything. Makes no sense, I know but he's bitter about it. Besides. A gun wouldn't have... done shit to him. Not during the storm." Just let him lean on you Liam, Ardyn is exhausting, even just trying to explain part of how he thinks.
no subject
When Gladio releases him, Liam's expression is as tired as his, age lines creased in misery and exhaustion. Would he have shot Gladio? He doesn't know. He doesn't think so (doesn't want to think so)- but the truth of it is that his temper had been pulled as taut as an unravelling thread, and in that moment, he'd looked at Gladio and saw the enemy. But when the dust cleared, it would have been horribly clear that he had lost two friends instead of one. To what end? To be the hero again? To feel anything again? Liam feels a familiar self-loathing stirring in his chest. He leans into Gladio's support, the very recent memory of his heartbeat a comfort.
Finally, Liam sighs, low and long. "We're lucky to have you, Gladio." That was the ultimate truth of it. "I've always been sure of that. And if you trust Ardyn- well, I can't fight with you anymore." The argument was over. So deep was his trust in Gladio that he was willing to call an uneasy truce with a man he was sure he hated, a man so unpredictable, dangerous and tyrannical that being locked up with him was viscerally disgusting. Ardyn had dominated him, humiliated him, and injured him so effectively that he'd suffered through something he should have been able to shrug off. This was more than a leap of faith. This was letting Gladio blindfold and leave him adrift with a promise. "But I can't face Ardyn. One way or another, I can't talk to him." Perhaps indefinitely, for both of their protection. Could Gladio and his friends accept that and still let Liam live within reach? Liam was terrified that the answer was 'no'.
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"It's easy, when you've been through something enough times, to become kind of numb to it. Dying, people leaving, like it's just part of how things work now." He frowns, clearly troubled by this and the look he gives Liam is grave. "I think the worst part is that... I didn't even realize. Not till you started looking for Chiaki and I just couldn't be that upset. I barely knew her, y'know. It..."
He scrubs a hand over his face, lets his head thunk back against the wall behind them and stares up at that pale sky. "Back home, even before all this. We had to leave people behind a lot. The Scourge, the same disease Ardyn has. It kills most people turns them into dust and brings them back as daemons. The number of friends, comrades, I've personally had to put down. It's easier, here. At least like this they vanish and you can tell yourself maybe they just went home."
"And I don't blame you for not wanting to be around Ardyn. He's an ass a lot of the time but it's sort of a form of self preservation. So like... I trust him to try. He's been trying in his own way but there's a fuck ton of damage up here." He taps his temple, offers Liam a weak, apologetic smile. "I mean... we've gotta learn to be civil a couple days outta the month at least but no one's gonna fault you for wanting to punch his lights out."
no subject
Liam could laugh - here they were, two men with the opposite problems, yet they had both seen people carried like ash into the wind and had hardened their hearts to it. Only, the blame did not lie with one of them. And Liam had called Gladio the callous one... "You told me about that future. I should have remembered." This might be the closest anyone has gotten to an apology from Liam. For all Gladio had lived through, his actions that day made perfect sense. "No one has the energy to care that much for that long. Not even someone like you." There was considerable admiration behind those words. Liam knew that well - for a person who cared so deeply for the humans around him, there was only so much empathy he could afford outside of them, after enough time. One day, it was like a switch had been flipped, and Liam could no longer bring himself to care what happened to the human race. (He wonders what Ardyn would do if he learned about the Medusea virus; deciding Ardyn he doesn't need another reason to kill him, Liam resolves to keep that card close to his chest.)
"...I meant one thing I said to you," Liam tells him, "I want to help you. Even if there's nothing that can be done." In other words, Liam was prepared to hear what he knew the others could not, any time Gladio needed. He only wished he had the strength to let that trust go both ways, but while the loyal facet of his personality had emerged from the war intact, his trusting one had not. It was much easier to dole out support than to take it.
no subject
"It's really hard... accepting that you've gotten to the point where you can't let yourself care anymore." The nudge turns into resting his head on Liam's shoulder and just... being so grateful to have him here, to have someone that can give him an objective opinion, someone who is willing to support even the bad things without it being something that feels like laying more guilt on them. He hates talking to Ignis about the Night, knows that every conversation is held with a part of his lover's mind chastising himself for allowing distance to come between them even when he hadn't even lived it yet.
"I appreciate that, Liam. More than you can know... I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough to stop Ardyn from hurting you." There's guilt there but also no small measure of weariness.