Take a look in the mirror

[piercetheheart]

Who: Gladio & the people he needs to Talk to
What: The storm was rough but some conversations need to be had out of earshot of the others.
Where: Around the entrance areas
When: 5/21&22 directly after the storm.
Warnings: These are likely to be some pretty intense Talks but will warn in subject lines if anything gets into CW territory.


Immediately following the storm anyone that wants to talk to Gladio can find him in the locker room, the room he and the other chocobros share, fighting with thread made from unwound strips of muslin bandages and a suture needle from one of the first aid kits making another couple pairs of the same wrap shorts he'd been using for months on the islands. As little sewing as possible while still being light weight and effective. It's actually easier with the cut down sheets than it was with muslin, the tighter weave allowing him to sew closer to the edge than the loose muslin had.

Comments

[piercetheheart]

For a moment he's sure that Liam's going to deck him, punch him square in the face and he'd deserve it. He makes no move to stop him, accepting whatever the older man plans to do. But somehow it's only a shove and disappointment and fuck if that doesn't hurt more than an blow. He stands up straighter for a moment, only now realizing just how much height he had on Liam, his force of personality made him seem so much larger.

"'m sorry." The shift in his stance only lasts a fleeting moment before he's throwing his arms around Liam, regardless of the heat or how gross everyone is he hugs the other man to him for a long moment. It's strange how much Liam's disappointment hits home, like he was failing Cor or His Majesty somehow.

"You were already so worked up I didn't think you'd listen. All of that, explaining everything? That took more than a minute and you'd already made up your mind what you were going to do, the rest of us be damned. I thought... you'd at least see the reason in not adding to the body count. As soon as Ardyn got involved it was a whole different story." Okay so maybe outside in the sun it's a little too hot for this. He leans a little instead, one arm around Liam but not fully hugging him.

"I wouldn't have let him kill you but... trust me when I say stepping in to argue in your defense would've made him more likely to kill you out of spite. Though I have to admit if he'd been a second or two slower I'd have jumped between you. Make sure neither of you could kill each other. He uh... he had everything he knew turned on him for being that kind of idealistic and self sacrificing so it pisses him off when people think it'll change anything. Makes no sense, I know but he's bitter about it. Besides. A gun wouldn't have... done shit to him. Not during the storm." Just let him lean on you Liam, Ardyn is exhausting, even just trying to explain part of how he thinks.

[endoftheuniverse]

The last thing Liam expected entering this conversation was to hug it out, and he responds to Gladio's embrace with a startled, shallow gasp - yet even in the heat, Liam lingers there willingly. Breathing slowly to vent out his bitterness, forehead pressed against Gladio's chest to hide his face, Liam closes his eyes. It had been a long time since he'd needed to be held like this.

When Gladio releases him, Liam's expression is as tired as his, age lines creased in misery and exhaustion. Would he have shot Gladio? He doesn't know. He doesn't think so (doesn't want to think so)- but the truth of it is that his temper had been pulled as taut as an unravelling thread, and in that moment, he'd looked at Gladio and saw the enemy. But when the dust cleared, it would have been horribly clear that he had lost two friends instead of one. To what end? To be the hero again? To feel anything again? Liam feels a familiar self-loathing stirring in his chest. He leans into Gladio's support, the very recent memory of his heartbeat a comfort.

Finally, Liam sighs, low and long. "We're lucky to have you, Gladio." That was the ultimate truth of it. "I've always been sure of that. And if you trust Ardyn- well, I can't fight with you anymore." The argument was over. So deep was his trust in Gladio that he was willing to call an uneasy truce with a man he was sure he hated, a man so unpredictable, dangerous and tyrannical that being locked up with him was viscerally disgusting. Ardyn had dominated him, humiliated him, and injured him so effectively that he'd suffered through something he should have been able to shrug off. This was more than a leap of faith. This was letting Gladio blindfold and leave him adrift with a promise. "But I can't face Ardyn. One way or another, I can't talk to him." Perhaps indefinitely, for both of their protection. Could Gladio and his friends accept that and still let Liam live within reach? Liam was terrified that the answer was 'no'.

[piercetheheart]

"We're lucky to have you too, Liam. It's-" He sighs, leans a little more. Then just huffs out a half strangled laugh and uses the arm around Liam's shoulders to tug the older man down to sit on the hard pan beside him. It's hot and sticky but all the stress of the last few days and Ignis falling apart on him this morning is just too much and Liam is one of the few people outside the situation that he feels he can lean on without adding to their burden.

"It's easy, when you've been through something enough times, to become kind of numb to it. Dying, people leaving, like it's just part of how things work now." He frowns, clearly troubled by this and the look he gives Liam is grave. "I think the worst part is that... I didn't even realize. Not till you started looking for Chiaki and I just couldn't be that upset. I barely knew her, y'know. It..."

He scrubs a hand over his face, lets his head thunk back against the wall behind them and stares up at that pale sky. "Back home, even before all this. We had to leave people behind a lot. The Scourge, the same disease Ardyn has. It kills most people turns them into dust and brings them back as daemons. The number of friends, comrades, I've personally had to put down. It's easier, here. At least like this they vanish and you can tell yourself maybe they just went home."

"And I don't blame you for not wanting to be around Ardyn. He's an ass a lot of the time but it's sort of a form of self preservation. So like... I trust him to try. He's been trying in his own way but there's a fuck ton of damage up here." He taps his temple, offers Liam a weak, apologetic smile. "I mean... we've gotta learn to be civil a couple days outta the month at least but no one's gonna fault you for wanting to punch his lights out."

[endoftheuniverse]

Once more Liam gratefully allows Gladio to pull him in, taking his seat close to him like they had done when Gladio was injured. It takes a moment for him to realize that Gladio might not be so open around Noctis or Prompto, and for an instant, Liam freezes- it was risky to become the confidant of a man he only thinks he knows- before forcing himself to relax. Enough. He had promised to trust him.

Liam could laugh - here they were, two men with the opposite problems, yet they had both seen people carried like ash into the wind and had hardened their hearts to it. Only, the blame did not lie with one of them. And Liam had called Gladio the callous one... "You told me about that future. I should have remembered." This might be the closest anyone has gotten to an apology from Liam. For all Gladio had lived through, his actions that day made perfect sense. "No one has the energy to care that much for that long. Not even someone like you." There was considerable admiration behind those words. Liam knew that well - for a person who cared so deeply for the humans around him, there was only so much empathy he could afford outside of them, after enough time. One day, it was like a switch had been flipped, and Liam could no longer bring himself to care what happened to the human race. (He wonders what Ardyn would do if he learned about the Medusea virus; deciding Ardyn he doesn't need another reason to kill him, Liam resolves to keep that card close to his chest.)

"...I meant one thing I said to you," Liam tells him, "I want to help you. Even if there's nothing that can be done." In other words, Liam was prepared to hear what he knew the others could not, any time Gladio needed. He only wished he had the strength to let that trust go both ways, but while the loyal facet of his personality had emerged from the war intact, his trusting one had not. It was much easier to dole out support than to take it.

[piercetheheart]

"You were upset, remembering wasn't something you were capable of at that moment. I get it. Trust me I've been there." Gladio huffs a breath, tilts his head to nudge Liam in something that's half playful nudge and half nuzzle because they're already leaning into each other enough that he can't really nudge without ending up half in Liam's lap.

"It's really hard... accepting that you've gotten to the point where you can't let yourself care anymore." The nudge turns into resting his head on Liam's shoulder and just... being so grateful to have him here, to have someone that can give him an objective opinion, someone who is willing to support even the bad things without it being something that feels like laying more guilt on them. He hates talking to Ignis about the Night, knows that every conversation is held with a part of his lover's mind chastising himself for allowing distance to come between them even when he hadn't even lived it yet.

"I appreciate that, Liam. More than you can know... I'm sorry I wasn't fast enough to stop Ardyn from hurting you." There's guilt there but also no small measure of weariness.